Please note that this is a personal story submitted by an About.com reader.
My mother was a victim of Alzheimer's, she started showing symptoms in early 1995 and progressed slowly until summer of 1998. She then started to display destructive behavior and abusive language. This was I think the hardest for me as she was not like this before the disease struck. I along with my father cared for her continuously until Oct of 2001, when we finally placed her in a wonderful Skilled Nursing Facillity with a great Alzheimer/Dementia Unit.
My suggestions or comments to others out there trying to care for a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer's need to rethink their decision. This disease is so horrific that it slowly drains and destroys the caregivers as well. I am a diabetic and the stress caused untold problems with my health, and I watched as my father slowly became a bitter, angry man at this cruel disease. Our first instincts are to want to care for them, after all, they are our fathers, mothers, spouses, and partners, and we were taught to care for our own.
I am here to tell you that it can not be done! Unless you have an extensive support group of family or respite care options, this is a task unsurmountable, by us mere mortals. I just wished we would have placed my mom in a facility sooner.
The tramua of placing her was difficult because in the beginning she still had small understanding of what was happening to her, yet within a week she was no longer able to walk or feed herself, and within two months she no longer recognized me or my dad. We both continued to go to her every day, my dad to feed her lunch and myself for her supper. December of 2003 she suffered a stroke that debilitated her ability to swallow and she passed away six days later, the day before Christmas.
I am so glad she is now at peace and free from this cruel disease. Please think about your choices, when deciding to care for loved one. Sometimes it can be more detremental than good, both everyone involved, take it from me, a survior care giver.
