Core values within a caregivers bill of rights
A formalized caregivers Bill of Rights provides balance and asserts that all individuals
have needs that have to be fulfilled. I believe this example of a caregivers bill of rights
by Wendy Lustbader captures the core values very well.
I have the right:
To take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the
capability of taking better care of my loved one.
To seek help from others even though my loved one may object. I recognize the limits of
my own endurance and strength.
To maintain facets of my own life that do not include the person I provide care for,
just as I would if he or she were healthy. I know that I do everything I reasonably can for
this person and I have the right to do some things just for myself.
To get angry, be depressed and express other difficult feelings occasionally.
To reject any attempt by my loved one [either conscious or unconscious] to manipulate me
through guilt, anger or depression.
To receive consideration, affection, forgiveness and acceptance for what I do for my
loved one for as long as I offer these qualities in return.
To take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it has sometimes
taken to meet the needs of my loved one.
To protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me
in the time when my loved one no longer needs my full time help.
To expect and demand that as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically
and mentally impaired older persons in our country, similar strides will be made toward
aiding and supporting caregivers.
Wendy Lustbader
Wendy Lustbader, M.S.W. , is a mental health counselor at Pike Market
Medical Clinic in Seattle and affiliate assistant professor at the
University of Washington School of Social Work. She also lectures nationally
on topics related to chronic illness, aging, and the needs of family
caregivers. She is the co-author of Taking Care of Aging Family Members: A
Practical Guide and author of Counting on Kindness: The Dilemmas of
Dependency, both published by the Free Press.
